Saturday, April 20, 2013
Sick days
I think I have finally pinpointed the hardest part of this whole adventure for me: the kids can't have sick days. When I was little and would get sick, my mom would bring my pillow and blanket to the couch, tuck me in and watch a movie with me. She'd make me soup and bring me juice or ginger ale, and spoil me until I felt better.
Last week, one of my boys had a stomach bug with a fever... all I could do was give him Tums for his belly, Motrin for his fever, and a hug before sending him back with the other kids. When I went to check on him I found him sleeping in the shade because he was too sick to play with his friends.
Yesterday I noticed one of the boys who is particularly outgoing was strangely quiet... I felt his forehead and took his temperature and wouldn't you know, he had a fever. This morning he woke up with his face swollen, and I took him to the clinic to find out that he has an infection in his mouth. He was given Motrin and an antibiotic, and sent back to the house. I wished so badly I could tuck him into bed and let him watch a movie... but instead I had to send him to play with the other boys outside. He managed a half a smile (with the normal-sized side of his face) when I told him I would see him later, but I know he is in pain.
I know these kids don't know the American life of being able to take a sick day, and so they don't even realize what they are missing. But after multiple days of taking care of sick children here, it still breaks my heart the same to see them sick or in pain and unable to rest in a comfortable bed. Don't get me wrong... these kids are very blessed. They receive three meals a day, clean clothes and a bed to sleep in. They never go without their needs being met here. Every child is hugged, and they know that they are loved by the staff and volunteers.
The difference is that an orphanage's standard for care, and my standard for care are not the same. And that has been one of the most challenging things for me in the past 3 months... learning that my expectations for how these kids should be cared for is not realistic for here. Because my expectations, my standard, is coming from living in a family of 5, with a mom and a dad and a large home where we all had our own bed. Here, the kids live in a family of 600.
In my boys house, there are 4 girls who help out between the ages of 16-22. There is myself, another volunteer, and 2 male staff members. I shared my mom and dad with 2 brothers. My boys have to share their 8 parental figures with 56 brothers. Maybe 8 sounds like a lot, because we are in an orphanage of 600 kids. I mean that's a 7:1 ratio right? But it's not enough. The kids are provided for, they are loved. But if I could have one thing in this life it would be that each and every one of these kids could experience the love of a real family.
And that's when I have to remind myself that they can.The book of Psalms is filled with promises for my boys. Psalm 68:5 tells them that God is a Father to the fatherless. "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).The Lord has promised my boys that even though their father and mother have forsaken them, He will take them in (Psalm 27:10). Jesus has spoken the words "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you" (John 14:8). And so even though I may worry about Efrain, and Jose Miguel, and Cristian Josue. Even though I am human and I feel that Erik and Roy and Fernando don't have enough, that they aren't cared for the way I was as a 9 year old... God's love and care for these boys, for all the kids at Emmanuel, and for every child in this world, is sufficient.
Proverbs 18:10 says "the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous runs into it and is safe." All I can picture when I read that promise is all 57 of my boys running and leaping into God's arm for a hug... and every single one of them fitting. Every single one of them receiving the same amount of love, the same amount of hugs, the same care, as I do. On this earth, our lives may be different. It may not be "fair." But this life is not what matters. It is short... eternity is not. And so all I really need to be focusing on while I am here, is showing these boys the love of our Father in Heaven... so that someday, we can all be with Him together, as one family.
Last week, one of my boys had a stomach bug with a fever... all I could do was give him Tums for his belly, Motrin for his fever, and a hug before sending him back with the other kids. When I went to check on him I found him sleeping in the shade because he was too sick to play with his friends.
Yesterday I noticed one of the boys who is particularly outgoing was strangely quiet... I felt his forehead and took his temperature and wouldn't you know, he had a fever. This morning he woke up with his face swollen, and I took him to the clinic to find out that he has an infection in his mouth. He was given Motrin and an antibiotic, and sent back to the house. I wished so badly I could tuck him into bed and let him watch a movie... but instead I had to send him to play with the other boys outside. He managed a half a smile (with the normal-sized side of his face) when I told him I would see him later, but I know he is in pain.
I know these kids don't know the American life of being able to take a sick day, and so they don't even realize what they are missing. But after multiple days of taking care of sick children here, it still breaks my heart the same to see them sick or in pain and unable to rest in a comfortable bed. Don't get me wrong... these kids are very blessed. They receive three meals a day, clean clothes and a bed to sleep in. They never go without their needs being met here. Every child is hugged, and they know that they are loved by the staff and volunteers.
The difference is that an orphanage's standard for care, and my standard for care are not the same. And that has been one of the most challenging things for me in the past 3 months... learning that my expectations for how these kids should be cared for is not realistic for here. Because my expectations, my standard, is coming from living in a family of 5, with a mom and a dad and a large home where we all had our own bed. Here, the kids live in a family of 600.
In my boys house, there are 4 girls who help out between the ages of 16-22. There is myself, another volunteer, and 2 male staff members. I shared my mom and dad with 2 brothers. My boys have to share their 8 parental figures with 56 brothers. Maybe 8 sounds like a lot, because we are in an orphanage of 600 kids. I mean that's a 7:1 ratio right? But it's not enough. The kids are provided for, they are loved. But if I could have one thing in this life it would be that each and every one of these kids could experience the love of a real family.
And that's when I have to remind myself that they can.The book of Psalms is filled with promises for my boys. Psalm 68:5 tells them that God is a Father to the fatherless. "He heals the broken hearted and binds up their wounds" (Psalm 147:3).The Lord has promised my boys that even though their father and mother have forsaken them, He will take them in (Psalm 27:10). Jesus has spoken the words "I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you" (John 14:8). And so even though I may worry about Efrain, and Jose Miguel, and Cristian Josue. Even though I am human and I feel that Erik and Roy and Fernando don't have enough, that they aren't cared for the way I was as a 9 year old... God's love and care for these boys, for all the kids at Emmanuel, and for every child in this world, is sufficient.
Proverbs 18:10 says "the name of the Lord is a strong tower, the righteous runs into it and is safe." All I can picture when I read that promise is all 57 of my boys running and leaping into God's arm for a hug... and every single one of them fitting. Every single one of them receiving the same amount of love, the same amount of hugs, the same care, as I do. On this earth, our lives may be different. It may not be "fair." But this life is not what matters. It is short... eternity is not. And so all I really need to be focusing on while I am here, is showing these boys the love of our Father in Heaven... so that someday, we can all be with Him together, as one family.
Friday, April 12, 2013
Suly, one of the older girls who helps with the small boys,
enjoying a turn on the water slide!
57 boys all paying attention during their Bible Study...
such a beautiful thing
2 of the boys showing off their new socks and under garments,
thank you to those who have donated to Orphanage Emmanuel!
Jose Miguel and myself hiding from the sun the day of the water slide
(okay only I was hiding from the sun... Jose Miguel was just being his helpful self and keeping me company. I got a little too red during the week of Semana Santa!)
Time flies
Two weeks at Emmanuel can feel like two months.. and yet it flies by at the same time. Sometimes I will have a conversation with someone in the morning, and by the evening I think we haven't talked in days! I have about 5 weeks left until I fly home to Massachusetts, and I don't even want to think about how quickly that will creep up on me.
The past three weeks have been full of learning experiences, and have shown me how much I have grown in my faith here... and how much room I still have to grow (it's quite a bit of room).
Last week I heard from the head of Westfield State University's nursing department.. I have been accepted into their nursing program for this upcoming fall! I was excited to hear this because of all of the hard work I have put in to get to this point, however with this excitement came a big decision. For the past couple of months I have been considering staying here at Emmanuel instead of returning home for school. After hearing I had an opportunity to go to nursing school, one I was so unsure I would ever receive, I had a million thoughts running through my head. The next afternoon, I received word from AIC's nursing department- I have also been accepted into their nursing department. I couldn't believe that both programs I applied to, I was accepted to... and that I found out within 24 hours of each other. I spoke with a lot of people about my options, and prayed more than I thought possible in a day... and have decided it is best for me to go home in the fall and begin nursing school. I pray that one day I can use this degree to serve the Lord overseas- whether it be here, or Haiti, or Argentina... wherever! But one of the most important things I have learned here is that if we are seeking God whole-heartedly and relying on him, He will show us where we need to go. God has been so faithful to me in so many ways these past six months, and I have no doubts that He will continue to provide for me.
Although I will be going home in the fall, I have still decided to return to Emmanuel for the summer. And so the second or third week of June I will be returning here, until the second or third week of August! I am so thankful I can be back with my kids for a couple more months, and it makes this first time around leaving a lot easier to think about, knowing I will see them a month later.
Honduras seems to have only two seasons... wet and dry. Right now we are in the "dry season." This means that we are spared from most bugs for the time being, however wild fires occur every day. Emmanuel has had a couple of fires on it's property since I've been here, none close to any of the buildings or kids, and all have gone out within a day or so. Last Wednesday morning there was a lot of smoke around us, and it got worse throughout the day... by the afternoon we could see there was fire on the property surrounding us... and by evening it was on our property. In the three months I've been here, I've never seen a fire so close to any of the kids houses as it was last week... it was a scary sight wednesday night, however it looked much closer to the houses than it actually was, and no one was hurt and no buildings or man-made property damaged. Praise the Lord!
In Honduras, the week before Easter Sunday is referred to as "Semana Santa" (Holy week), and almost everyone is off of school and work. Our town even shut town for a couple days, almost none of the stores were open! This was such a fun week for us because the kids did not have school, and we had a whole bunch of free time to just play with the kids. Emmanuel has a lot of property that has not yet been built on, and so all the kids got a chance to hike up the mountain that is on our property and have a day to play up there. I went up with my small boys(7-11 years old) one day, and the medium boys(11-13/14 years old) another, and had so much fun playing games and having a picnic with the boys. Feeding 70 boys lunch in the mountain sounded like a difficult task, but we grilled hot dogs over a fire and the boys had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (a treat for them!) and it was a lot of fun. There was a team here from Union College in Tennessee, and they made a slip and slide for each group of kids to play on. My boys loved it! Again, getting 57 boys down a slip and slide without having chaos may sound impossible, but they were very well behaved and there were no injuries (other than quite a few sore bellies, but what else can you expect when you slide down a piece of tarp 15 times in a row?). Elisabeth and I did a picnic lunch/easter egg hunt with our special needs class, and they loved it! It was fun to hide all the eggs and watch them hunt for them, and they also got to have their special treat of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, soda... and lots of candy!
This past week, a team called "Soles for Souls" came and delivered all 550 kids a brand new pair of shoes... and the staff and volunteers as well! It was fun to watch all my boys getting sized for their new shoes, and watching them all showing them off on the way to school the next day. Every Tuesday night the women on staff hold a Bible study, and this week they invited the girl volunteers to join in as well. When we got there we found four boxes of TEVA sandals, and all got to take a pair home. I have been in need of a new pair of sandals, and so I was thrilled! Just another example of how God provides, even for the little things.
I can't believe how fast 3 months has flown by, and while I am excited to go home and see friends and family, I can't imagine not being here for a month! After that I will only be back here for a couple months, and I'm bracing myself for that goodbye... but trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy every moment I have with these kids. Even when those moments include language barriers, tears, and ears that are not listening! I love even the difficult moments here, and am always learning. Speaking of learning... finals for my online classes are coming up within the next month, and I am not looking forward to the extra school work! To all my faithful prayer warriors- please pray that I will be diligent with that as well as being able to balance my time and responsibilities here. Dios los bendiga!
The past three weeks have been full of learning experiences, and have shown me how much I have grown in my faith here... and how much room I still have to grow (it's quite a bit of room).
Last week I heard from the head of Westfield State University's nursing department.. I have been accepted into their nursing program for this upcoming fall! I was excited to hear this because of all of the hard work I have put in to get to this point, however with this excitement came a big decision. For the past couple of months I have been considering staying here at Emmanuel instead of returning home for school. After hearing I had an opportunity to go to nursing school, one I was so unsure I would ever receive, I had a million thoughts running through my head. The next afternoon, I received word from AIC's nursing department- I have also been accepted into their nursing department. I couldn't believe that both programs I applied to, I was accepted to... and that I found out within 24 hours of each other. I spoke with a lot of people about my options, and prayed more than I thought possible in a day... and have decided it is best for me to go home in the fall and begin nursing school. I pray that one day I can use this degree to serve the Lord overseas- whether it be here, or Haiti, or Argentina... wherever! But one of the most important things I have learned here is that if we are seeking God whole-heartedly and relying on him, He will show us where we need to go. God has been so faithful to me in so many ways these past six months, and I have no doubts that He will continue to provide for me.
Although I will be going home in the fall, I have still decided to return to Emmanuel for the summer. And so the second or third week of June I will be returning here, until the second or third week of August! I am so thankful I can be back with my kids for a couple more months, and it makes this first time around leaving a lot easier to think about, knowing I will see them a month later.
Honduras seems to have only two seasons... wet and dry. Right now we are in the "dry season." This means that we are spared from most bugs for the time being, however wild fires occur every day. Emmanuel has had a couple of fires on it's property since I've been here, none close to any of the buildings or kids, and all have gone out within a day or so. Last Wednesday morning there was a lot of smoke around us, and it got worse throughout the day... by the afternoon we could see there was fire on the property surrounding us... and by evening it was on our property. In the three months I've been here, I've never seen a fire so close to any of the kids houses as it was last week... it was a scary sight wednesday night, however it looked much closer to the houses than it actually was, and no one was hurt and no buildings or man-made property damaged. Praise the Lord!
In Honduras, the week before Easter Sunday is referred to as "Semana Santa" (Holy week), and almost everyone is off of school and work. Our town even shut town for a couple days, almost none of the stores were open! This was such a fun week for us because the kids did not have school, and we had a whole bunch of free time to just play with the kids. Emmanuel has a lot of property that has not yet been built on, and so all the kids got a chance to hike up the mountain that is on our property and have a day to play up there. I went up with my small boys(7-11 years old) one day, and the medium boys(11-13/14 years old) another, and had so much fun playing games and having a picnic with the boys. Feeding 70 boys lunch in the mountain sounded like a difficult task, but we grilled hot dogs over a fire and the boys had peanut butter and jelly sandwiches (a treat for them!) and it was a lot of fun. There was a team here from Union College in Tennessee, and they made a slip and slide for each group of kids to play on. My boys loved it! Again, getting 57 boys down a slip and slide without having chaos may sound impossible, but they were very well behaved and there were no injuries (other than quite a few sore bellies, but what else can you expect when you slide down a piece of tarp 15 times in a row?). Elisabeth and I did a picnic lunch/easter egg hunt with our special needs class, and they loved it! It was fun to hide all the eggs and watch them hunt for them, and they also got to have their special treat of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, chips, soda... and lots of candy!
This past week, a team called "Soles for Souls" came and delivered all 550 kids a brand new pair of shoes... and the staff and volunteers as well! It was fun to watch all my boys getting sized for their new shoes, and watching them all showing them off on the way to school the next day. Every Tuesday night the women on staff hold a Bible study, and this week they invited the girl volunteers to join in as well. When we got there we found four boxes of TEVA sandals, and all got to take a pair home. I have been in need of a new pair of sandals, and so I was thrilled! Just another example of how God provides, even for the little things.
I can't believe how fast 3 months has flown by, and while I am excited to go home and see friends and family, I can't imagine not being here for a month! After that I will only be back here for a couple months, and I'm bracing myself for that goodbye... but trying to take it one day at a time and enjoy every moment I have with these kids. Even when those moments include language barriers, tears, and ears that are not listening! I love even the difficult moments here, and am always learning. Speaking of learning... finals for my online classes are coming up within the next month, and I am not looking forward to the extra school work! To all my faithful prayer warriors- please pray that I will be diligent with that as well as being able to balance my time and responsibilities here. Dios los bendiga!
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